I love traveling in the car and visiting new places, smelling new things, and performing for smiling audiences. I don’t enjoy traveling with Joey, the Puppy. He used to ride in a box, but now he’s outgrown it. He’s almost as big as me—argh!!!! We are supposed to share the back seat, but he leans against me. Sometimes that naughty puppy sits on my side of the car! The box contained him. He would sometimes poke his head out of the box and lick my ear, but now he tries to kiss me while we’re driving down the road. Ugh! Puppy kisses are nasty!
We traveled a lot over the past few weeks because of our busy summer schedule. In the summer, we travel around Colorado and even go to other states performing at public libraries for the Summer Reading programs. We journeyed to Woodland Park library on June 1st to kick off their summer reading program. We had a fun audience who enjoyed my tricks and tales! But then Joey stole the show. (If you could see my face, you would see that I’m pouting.) My upright, Denise, brought Joey out at the end for the “Grande Finale.” I played dead. Then I turned my back on the audience. How dare they clap for him!!! What about me? After the little twerp performs a few mundane tricks which made the audience ooohh and aaahhh, my upright had Joey and I perform some tricks together. I twirled, I jumped, and I only snapped at him once which I thought was pretty good.
But this week, we traveled all the way to Cortez and Telluride. The ride was about 7 hours. We stopped along the river. Water roared past us and I will admit that I considered pushing Joey in, but I didn’t. I figured my upright would have been upset. The program in Cortez was held in a library that contained beautiful murals. They had a fun children’s area. The crowd was large and enthusiastic. I loved it—until Joey emerged from his pop-up tent. He performed his tricks which I could have performed while sleeping!
From Cortez, we traveled to Telluride and performed in their gorgeous children’s area. I played in their treehouse which was located INSIDE the children’s area. I met a bear who turned out to be stuffed. I made sure he couldn’t harm any children!
Our journey continued to Broomfield Auditorium in Denver. We performed on stage. I love the stage. I love being the center of attention. I’m a bit of a diva. The audience clapped, cheered, and loved the show. I snarled at Joey once, but in my defense I felt he could have performed better.
Everyone loves Joey. I’m feeling a bit left out. I feel like everyone is excited to see him. But what about me? So, the next time we were in the car, I snarled at him in the car and refused to let him kiss me. Joey decided to chew on a pillow. Ha, Ha. Now my upright is upset. The pillow is ruined and she’s worried he might chew on the car next. I kind of hope he does!!!!
My upright should have named him Stinker instead of Joey because the puppy is a little stinker. He eats everything he sees including: pine cones, dirt clods, string, cardboard, and poop. That’s right, he eats poop! Disgusting! Joey puts his mouth on everything to taste and he’s decided that poop is yummy like ice cream!
Joey, the puppy, is teething so my upright has purchased special puppy Nyla bones, new dog toys, pig ears, and Kong’s. What about me??? It was my birthday on March 2nd, but I had to spend it with Stinker! He even came to some of my programs and stole all the attention and treats. I didn’t even get a special dog bone for my birthday because my upright was too busy chasing Stinker. Stinker had poop in his mouth and she was trying to make him drop it. Instead, she made him think it was a game. He loves carrying poop everywhere just to make her scream and then chase him.
I’ve decided to chew on his puppy bones, play with his toys, and steal his pig ears. The puppy Nyla bone disintegrated in my mouth, so I swallowed it to hide the evidence. My upright was not happy. She was worried that the Nyla bone would make me sick. (I have a sensitive stomach.) It didn’t, but she took me to the vet anyway.
While we visited the vet, my upright showed him a lump on my leg she had noticed. She was worried it might be a cancerous tumor. The vet biopsied it and discovered that it was just a fatty tumor. The vet did tell my upright that I was chubby. CHUBBY?! I am not chubby; I’m fluffy with muscle underneath. So, for my birthday I was put on a diet and Joey, that little Stinker, ate extra food because he’s “growing.” ARRRFFF!
All uprights should monitor their pets for lumps on their bodies. Lumps can be nothing but a fatty tumor, but they could also be a sign of cancer. Sometimes they grow fast and sometimes slow. My upright checks mine every day. If it grows, it will need to be removed.
Puppies, like Joey, explore their world by putting their mouth on everything. That is why some puppies chew on slippers, chair legs, and even poop. Providing them with dog bones, toys, and Kong’s can help, but honestly, they will try everything at least once. And I mean everything!
It all happened during a blizzard in February. Snow covered the ground and painted the trees white. The wind howled into the storm and piled the snow into drifts over five feet high. The sun didn’t shine for two days and the bitter cold made my paws hurt. And I was bored. Even though my upright was attempting to teach me a new trick and was playing with me, I found everything boring. I wanted to play and run, to jump through the snow drifts and go hiking, but the storm brought over two feet of snow and we were officially snowed-in.
I needed something to do, someone besides my upright to play with. And that’s when I remembered Joey, the puppy. Before, I had always seen him as a nuisance and as the “evil puppy who was stealing all the love and attention,” but now I saw him as a potential playmate. He was chewing on a ball so I went over there and stole it from him. He barked. I rolled it back to him. He nosed it over to me. I grabbed the ball and ran around the house. Joey chased me. It was FUN. I dropped the ball and he grabbed it. I chased him around the house. We were playing tug-a-war with a rope toy and running and chasing each other. I discovered it was fun playing with Joey!
Then Joey needed to go potty. My upright let us out into the backyard. The snow was piled high in the yard. The wind flung cold snowflakes into our faces. I even squeezed my eyes shut. My upright came out with us, but suddenly she was calling Joey’s name. She couldn’t find him. I looked around. He had been right behind me in the deep snow. The snow was so deep that it was over his head. I couldn’t see him. I could tell my upright was concerned. There was a note of urgency in her voice. I could barely see her through the blowing snow. She called for Joey again. But he still didn’t emerge. It was up to me to find him. The thought of leaving him in the snow didn’t even cross my mind. He’s a puppy. He’s young and innocent and even though he sometimes annoys me, he’s my puppy. I raced through the deep snow, jumping through the deep drifts until I found him. I led him through the snow and back to my upright.
We went inside and she wiped off the snow. Then we all snuggled together in front of the fireplace. The fire crackled and sent delicious warmth to our wet fur. My upright drank hot cocoa and rubbed my belly. She told me I was a, “good older sister,” and that “I saved Joey.” I discovered she still loves me. And she also loves Joey, the puppy. I guess she has enough love for both of us.
My upright brought home a puppy and I am not happy, not happy at all. He takes away her attention, he barks at me in the house which is a no no, and he peed inside the house the other night! I was mortified that one of my breed would pee inside! We’re supposed to be the smartest breeds of dogs, but I think he’s a bit slow. I hatched a plan to get rid of him, but my upright figured it out and told me I was stuck with him.
So, I’ve made the best of the situation. When Joey, the puppy, receives a treat for peeing outside, I make sure I get one too. And unlike him, I can pee several times on a walk! When Joey receives a treat just for sitting, I’m right there waiting for my treat and I make sure my upright gives me one. She tells me that she’s training Joey, but in reality, I’m training her. I am so smart and beautiful, and I am top dog.
If Joey and I are outside and my upright calls him to come, I make sure he does. I growl and then herd him over to her. HA, ha!!! She thinks she’s training him, but I am. If he doesn’t come, I make him. If he doesn’t sit when she asks, I give him a little smack with my paw. I plan on turning him into my minion who will do my bidding. Eventually, I’ll train him to give me all his treats. My upright can keep Joey, the puppy, as long as he gives me his treats and toys!
I’ll even take car rides with him. I’ll even pretend to like him, because in the long run, my devious plan will work. I’ll make him adore me, look up to me, and do everything I demand. Having a puppy isn’t so bad when he becomes your minion. With Joey at my side, I’ll be able to rule the world and control humans. Every human will feel compelled to provide me with treats and love!!! Don’t you want to give me a treat? I like Old Mother Hubbard treats and Zuke’s natural treats!!! :)
My perfect life is no more. I went from being queen of the house and a drama star to being miserable and annoyed. I thought I was my upright’s puppy. But then she brought home “him.” His name is Joey and he’s a tyrant. He stole all of my toys and he tried to nurse on me. YUCK!!!! I told him with a deep growl that I was not his MOTHER.
Joey is 8 weeks old and is a Border Collie like me (but not as cute). Everyone says “he’s adorable,” and “soft,” and “cuddly.” But I’m all those things too! Most of the time I crate myself because I just don’t want to be around him.
My upright still takes me for runs, hikes, and to do programs. I love being away from the puppy. My performances have taken on a new meaning for me. I am the center of attention there and I’m a star. Everyone loves me and I receive all kinds of treats.
But my home life has changed. I know what I’m going to do! I’m going to dig a hole in the backyard under the fence and then show it to the puppy. I’ll explain to him that more toys and adventure await on the other side of the fence. Once he’s on the other side, I’ll close up the hole and stand guard. He’ll conveniently disappear!!!! HA,Ha…. I’ll update everyone on my plan to “Make the Puppy Vanish” next week!!! Until then, think about me and if you see me performing at a show, please bring me treats!!!
On Hollow’s Eve not a creature stirred, not even a mouse, because it was dead! I crept past the mouse and hunted for some eye of newt! But instead of figuring out what that was, I met a werewolf who howled, a vampire who tried to drink my blood, and a zombie who may have turned me into one!
For Halloween, my upright and I always perform our Spooky tales for children. This year we acted out some wonderful shows at the Dinosaur Resource Center, Springs Ranch Elementary, and the Mission Viejo Library in Aurora. We told scary tales and made a brew that bubbled!
In my story, I searched for some eye of newt. My upright needed it for her brew. I entered a dark and scary wood and encountered spooky sounds. I wasn’t really scared until a glowing orb rose above the skeleton trees. An eerie glow descended upon the woods and I panicked! I’m not a brave dog, not at all! I cried, “Woof!” then I ran. But I was chased by a werewolf, vampire, and zombie. They cornered me and I trembled with fear, until someone shouted, “Trick or Treat!”
I returned to my upright without the eye of newt. She was not happy, so she made me taste her bubbling brew. It turned me into a ladybug! Now, I’m stuck fluttering my wings until the next Halloween!
When my upright is sick, I take care of her. I snuggle with her and keep her warm. I lay my head on her chest and listen to the sound of her heart beat. I press my body against hers when she’s in pain. My job is not to run around and play and be goofy, but to be her medicine.
This week, my upright became sick. She couldn’t eat and her stomach ached. I became her nurse, thermal heater, and medicine. It’s true. When humans become ill, dogs react to the scent in your mouth. We know before even you do that you’re fighting an infection or illness.
Scientists have conducted studies and discovered that dogs can sense when their upright has cancer. Various studies have confirmed that dogs have the ability to detect certain diseases such as cancer through their keen sense of smell. Our noses have the ability to detect chemicals known as volatile organic compounds or VOCs.
My upright doesn’t have cancer, but I was able to detect that she was sick. I stayed by her side all day and refused to even go for a walk when someone else offered to take me. Dogs are a kind of medicine. We make uprights feel better. We provide comfort, warmth, and even joy. We understand your needs and often offer our tummy for you to rub. I firmly believe that petting me provides a type of therapy to my upright. When she pets me, she begins to feel better.
And I’m happy to report that after 24 hours of petting and snuggling, she’s feeling much better. I’m hopeful that tomorrow we’ll go for a run! Woof!
This last week, I visited the Black Forest Veterinary Clinic. The veterinarian poked and prodded me. I was stabbed with sharp needles and they took my temperature (which is not pleasant). My upright informed me that every dog should visit their vet twice a year. I wondered why? She said that all the poking, prodding, and shots were for my health.
Have you ever received a shot before? It stings, but the pain only lasts a few seconds, thank goodness! I don’t know about human doctors, but veterinarians always give us yummy treats after a shot. Dr. Mohr always scratches my ears and looks inside them. He checks my teeth, my weight, and anything else that my upright thinks needs to be checked.
My teeth are in excellent condition because my upright brushes them at least four times a week. He also commented that my coat was shiny and healthy. I’m proud to say that my weight was perfect this time. Last April, Dr. Mohr marked on my chart that I was chubby. CHUBBY! I’m not chubby; I’m fluffy. I was still carrying my winter coat and extra fur can add pounds to my frame! Anyway, I’m happy to say that all the running, hiking, and walking I’ve been doing has paid off and I’m no longer considered chubby.
Some dogs are afraid to visit their vet. At first, I was scared too. I buried my face in my upright’s chest and refused to look at the vet while my temperature was being taken. My upright stroked my fur and whispered, “Be brave, Sienna.” She told me I was a good girl. Then the vet told me I was a good girl and offered me a treat. I’m proud to say that I’m no longer afraid of visiting a veterinary clinic. They care about my health. I want to live a long, active life with my upright.
If you own a pet, be sure to take them to a veterinary clinic twice a year. It’s important for the veterinarian to check your pet’s health and administer vaccinations for Rabies, Bordetella, and test for Heartworm.
Autumn is my favorite season. I love the cool evenings, crisp mornings, warm days, and the changing colors of leaves, grasses, and bushes.
In the fall, my upright and I perform our Harvest Tales which are full of scarecrows, crows, and corn palaces. Yep it’s true, palaces made out of CORN.
In Sioux City, IA in 1887, the very first Corn Palace was constructed. It was large enough to contain a roller rink inside. The residents of Sioux City held costume balls in which the participants dressed as Scarecrows. You might think this sounds a little corny, but they decorated the structure with corn on the outside and the inside. The structure was constructed from wood, then they split field corn, maize, and other Indian corn in half. They nailed the cob to the wood. On the inside, the Ladies Auxiliary Club of Sioux City would use corn kernels to create mosaics depicting nature scenes or other interesting things. Sorghum, wheat, and even carrots were also used to decorate the interior.
The largest Corn Palace was in 1891 This Corn Palace was so large that it spread across Pierce Street and featured a large archway that allowed traffic to pass though. A balcony atop the main 200-foot tower allowed visitors to take in a magnificent view of the city and the surrounding three states. Concerts were held in the spacious interior.
Sadly, after the Great Flood of 1892, Sioux City never built another Corn Palace. When the residents of Mitchell, SD heard that Sioux City was not able to build another Corn Palace, they decided to build one of their own. They have featured a corn palace now for over 120 years. Their slogan reads, “The World’s only Corn Palace!”
If you’re interested in learning more about corn palaces and seeing some mighty interesting pictures, check out the following links:
Sometimes I dream about Corn Palaces. In my dream, I’m dressed as a scarecrow and I’m waltzing to a live band. The song is about corn and is titled “Corn is King!” (Which was a song written by J.G. Smith to commemorate the very first Corn Palace.) As I twirl around the wooden floor, I glimpse something with sharp teeth, beady black eyes, and a long slick tail. At first I think it might be Kitty (I think everything is a Kitty at first), but I soon realize that this is worse than Kitty. A rat has entered the ballroom and is proceeding to eat the beautiful corn mural of Romeo and Juliet. I leap across the floor to stop him, only to discover that he has hundreds of friends. They use their sharp claws and teeth to tear down the corn palace. As the palace crashes around me, I rush outside only to discover flocks of crows circling the palace. (Did you know that large flocks of crows are called murders? Neither did I!) A murder of crows blackens the sky until the sun is blotted out! I usually wake up right about now. I jump in bed with my upright and force her to pet me until the images of fiendish rats and murderous crows dissolve.
But my dream is partly true. The Corn Palaces in Sioux City did attract large numbers of crows, rats, and other birds. Mitchell, SD likes to say that their Corn Palace is the largest bird feeder in the United States!
I enjoy watching the Broncos. Mostly, I like the football snacks my uprights provide. Generally, I’m a very well trained dog and a good dog, but I do enjoy sneaking a chip every now and then. My upright should have named me Ninja! I stole a chip from a bowl without even knocking it off the table. In fact, no one knew I stole the chip until they saw me munching on something crunchy! Whenever I watch the Broncos I wear my lucky scarf. They always win when I wear it!
I also enjoy the commercials. My upright likes to teach me tricks during the commercials. This usually involves more chips or dog treats. We practice some of the tricks I know well such as sit, hi-five, and roll over, then we progress to new tricks. The length of commercials is a perfect time for dog training. It’s just long enough to practice something new, but not too long to make me bored or tired. My upright and I have been reading some new books about dog training. I’ve listed some of my favorite books below:
101 Dog Tricks by Kyra Sundance and Chalcy. The book provides step-by-step instructions and pictures. Chalcy, Kyra’s dog, sure looks smart. (But I’m pretty sure I’m smarter. Not that it’s a contest or anything.)
I also enjoy reading 101 Ways to Do More with your Dog! By Kyra Sundance. This book expands upon activities in which you can engage your dog. I’d like to try some new activities with my upright!
My upright and I are also reading the book Chaser by John Pilley. This book is about a Border Collie who knows a thousand words. Chaser even understands phrases and can correctly identify over a thousand nouns. Chaser is my inspiration. I often wonder if my upright had gotten me as a puppy, if I’d know a thousand words. Before I was rescued by my upright, Denise, I spent hours crated. I spent the majority of my puppyhood locked in a crate! But once Denise rescued me, I began to develop my natural curiosity and ability to learn!
I do know one phrase quite well, “Go Broncos!” They have a game on Thursday that I look forward to watching. “WOOOOF! WOOF!” Maybe I’ll teach Peyton Manning a trick or two for when he’s on the field!
Sienna, The Smartest Border Collie!
I'm a red and white Border Collie. I love performing with my upright, Denise Gard. I call all humans uprights, just so you know! This blog will detail all of my adventures and contain some useful dog tips for all dog lovers!