Joey, The Stinker!

Joey may look cute and innocent, but he's really a stinker!

My upright should have named him Stinker instead of Joey because the puppy is a little stinker.  He eats everything he sees including: pine cones, dirt clods, string, cardboard, and poop.  That’s right, he eats poop!  Disgusting!  Joey puts his mouth on everything to taste and he’s decided that poop is yummy like ice cream! 
Joey, the puppy, is teething so my upright has purchased special puppy Nyla bones, new dog toys, pig ears, and Kong’s.  What about me???  It was my birthday on March 2nd, but I had to spend it with Stinker!  He even came to some of my programs and stole all the attention and treats.  I didn’t even get a special dog bone for my birthday because my upright was too busy chasing Stinker.  Stinker had poop in his mouth and she was trying to make him drop it.  Instead, she made him think it was a game.  He loves carrying poop everywhere just to make her scream and then chase him. 
I’ve decided to chew on his puppy bones, play with his toys, and steal his pig ears.  The puppy Nyla bone disintegrated in my mouth, so I swallowed it to hide the evidence.  My upright was not happy.  She was worried that the Nyla bone would make me sick.  (I have a sensitive stomach.)  It didn’t, but she took me to the vet anyway. 
While we visited the vet, my upright showed him a lump on my leg she had noticed.  She was worried it might be a cancerous tumor.  The vet biopsied it and discovered that it was just a fatty tumor.  The vet did tell my upright that I was chubby.  CHUBBY?!  I am not chubby; I’m fluffy with muscle underneath.  So, for my birthday I was put on a diet and Joey, that little Stinker, ate extra food because he’s “growing.”  ARRRFFF! 
All uprights should monitor their pets for lumps on their bodies.  Lumps can be nothing but a fatty tumor, but they could also be a sign of cancer.  Sometimes they grow fast and sometimes slow.  My upright checks mine every day.  If it grows, it will need to be removed. 
​Puppies, like Joey, explore their world by putting their mouth on everything.  That is why some puppies chew on slippers, chair legs, and even poop.  Providing them with dog bones, toys, and Kong’s can help, but honestly, they will try everything at least once.  And I mean everything!  

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I wouldn't let him kiss me. His breath stinks like poop!